Tuesday 19 February 2013

No card, but more crying!

Hello blogworld,

Waffle time!

I felt a bit unsure about having a child for ages as I watched my sister and b-in-law with theirs and saw how much effort went into it.  I also had my mothers' thoughts ringing in my ears for years - first one being 'you were a lovely baby and then you grew up' and also 'I sometimes wish I'd never had you two - all you do is argue' insert any words from argue to break my heart, to moan, cry and whinge.

Still the clock ticked, found a nice bloke and eventually we took the plunge, and it has been the most emotional roller-coaster ever! We have good days - she got flowers from daddy on Valentines, look how happy she is:

To days like yesterday - all over a new bed!  She finally picked one a single, metal bedstead with crystal finials, fine done very happy.  Said we'd go home and order one, canny shoppers us - there's always something either cheaper or with free delivery on the 'net!

But, oh no - we get home and now we've gone back to wanting a mid-sleeper and it's causing tears.  We've explained that she can't bounce on that - we moved her bed away from the wall because she said she was cold, and against the wall is where she would have to have this bed. It's not needed in her bedroom - she has a good sized double room so the storage isn't an issue. We have a fold-up so that can be used when she starts having friends over, so again no reason for a bunk-bed (the other choice!).

Is it bad of us to want her to have the bed we want her to have, instead of what (I'm sure) is a fad because her friend has one?  It's also more practical - a single will last her years, whereas she'll have to change a mid-sleeper again.

I don't know I'm beginning to feel like a right meanie here, but where do you draw the line between indulging her and spoiling her?

So on top of the crying about not wanting to go to school, the crying because she wants this bed, the crying because we said 'no' and the general everyday crying - I'm about done in!!

Still no doubt she'll cheer up again soon and then we'll get back to normal, eh.  I can hear the telly has gone on (thank goodness for Justins House - cheers her up) and I'm hiding in the craft/dining room.  I'll come out soon, promise!!

There waffle over, makes me feel better talking to no-one this does.


PS - We also went new kitchen hunting - ooooh  I'm in love, soft close drawers, masses of storage, pretty colours. Roll on June/July/August!


Unknown said...

Oh Sarah, there's always something with kids isn't there. Keep smiling.

coops said...

oh sarah i do feel for you.i am an older mum too, i was nearly 30 when i had jack.jack has a mid sleeper, we had it because we could hide some of his toys under it and its a fab bed and should last him a good few years need to stick to your guns i think, its hard to say no especially when they throw a strop but they have to learn no means no.jack is at the age now where he is not too bad but still has things taken off him if he gets too mouthy.good luck hun :D

xx coops xx

Kim said...

What a beautiful daughter you have! Yes parenting is best described as a roller coaster ride. We always doubt our decisions, but seriously sometimes we have to make decisions based on what we know to be the right choice but not necessarily the favorite choice for them. Don't fret Sarah you love her and she knows it! Kids will always test us and work on our guilt to get what they want hahaha, that is why they are kids. Relax and get the bed you know to be the best choice, she will get over it in a day.
Enjoy now she will not always be so little!

Claire said...

Aww bless you hun, it doesn't get any easier - my oldest is 18, then 16 and then 13 but the crying does stop LOL! In respect of beds, then I think we have had every bed going, we started at a cot bed, then a junior bed, then bunk beds and then back to a cabin bed and then back to bunk beds and now to a single bed - most of this was due to many house moves and beds not fitting - but even so you do tend to get through alot. At the end of the day you need to ensure she is happy in a bed that she is going to sleep in and not outgrow too quickly as kids grow up so fast! Good luck xx

Chris said...

Hi Sarah!
Boy, it's not easy being a parent!
Sometimes you just have to do what you think is best, the children don't always like it but they get over it! Your little girl is so gorgeous, but they're all hard work! She'll be all smiles again soon!

Kim said...

Hi Sarah, I know just what you mean - having gone through (and still going through!) the trials of 2 step daughters and a daughter and son of our own too (the youngest of which is 14 - an interesting age...!). Sometimes you have to stick to your guns because as an adult you know best, you can see the bigger picture which they are just not able to. And on a more practical note - having had high bunks, mid sleepers and singles, the single is so much more practical!! Especially for bed-making and particularly when they are young and ill during the! I'll leave that to your imagination lol! Sorry for the long waffle!
Kim x

Kim said...

PS - your daughter looks such a cutie holding those flowers! I bet she was thrilled to bits!
Kim x

Unknown said...

Hi Sarah,
It seems like forever since I've had a catch-up on your blog. I'm loving all your latest cards!

Hopefully things will settle down with the little one, Maybe when she gets the new bed she will be happy and her friend will be wanting a big girl bed!
I know when I was little, I didn't have a say in the matter! lol!


Karen P said...

Hi Sarah - the fact that you are asking these questions - are struggling with little one's moods and the way they swing left and then right by 360 degrees - stop beating yourself up you are a good and caring mum. I had similar issues with my mum when I was younger. The best for SWMBO is to be consistent. Stick to your guns huni hugs Karen x

Sarah-Jane said...

Sarah you need to be strong and stick to what you and your husband decide is best. Just order the single bed that Emily picked out. Once it comes I'm sure she will be happy. If she has a nice big room there really is no need for a mid sleeper or bunk bed. Just tell her princesses don't sleep in bunk beds!
Sarah-Jane xx

Sue said...

Hi Sarah.
It sounds like things are getting on top of you at the moment, I really do feel for you.
It looks like you have lots of good advice here from your wonderful blogging buddies. So, know that you are loved and believe me things will get easier.
Take care
big Hugs Sue said...

Hi Sarah stick to your guns we bought our Sarah a mid bed when she was younger and space was needed as she had a very small bedroom but what a mistake that was because like your daughter ours liked bouncing on her bed and the amount of times Alan had to do repair work on it. Little one will soon settle when she has her new bed. Stop beating yourself out I thought I was the worst mum in the world but now have two beautiful daughters who are grown up but are very attentive and loving. So I must not have been the terrible mum I thought I was. Love Alison xx

Tracey T said...

Stick to your guns. Consistency is so important and kids have to learn that they can't have what they want all the time. The crying will stop sooner or later, but it's so much better if the crying stops because she has decided to get over it, rather than it stopping because you've caved! Do that and you're teaching her that if she cries enough, you'll give in. Keep your chin up, sweetie! xx

catherine said...

Hi Sarah and don't worry we all go through these times !!
You neeed to do what you think is best and she will be pleased because you have done something for her. I do agree with you being consistent for her sake but everyone knows what's best for their own and I'm sure you will come to the right decision and she will agree!!!

We have all been here and there will be more round the corner!!

She looks so cute with her flowers.

x catherine

Lisa xx said...

Got to agree with what everyone else has said about you guys sticking to your guns and getting SWMBO what you consider to be the most appropriate bed. Maybe the compromise point could be that she gets to pick out a new duvet cover for it?

Super cute piccie, btw xx

Little K Smith said...

Aaawww such a cute pic of your daughter hun and good luck with the bed choosing too! I'm afraid I'm no help I just have a cat n dog! :D

DesignerDiva said...

Poor Sarah, no one can say bringing up kids is easy that's for sure! She looks so adorable in the picture with her flowers hard to imagine the other side of the coin so to speak.
You're the parent Hunny, I know you will do the right thing, my kids didn't have that much choice, and just like yours they were/will be thrilled with whichever new bed arrives.
The one time we let Raegan choose the colour scheme for her bedroom you actually needed sunglasses to go in there!!!
Good luck and big hugs Laurie xx

Christine L said...

Hi Sarah..

It's definitely not easy,,, and mine are now 28 and 27! But you're doing as any parent does, feeling guilty over a decision that has to be made. Stick to your guns hon... she'll be fine when she gets her new bed... and will know where her 'line' is - all she's doing is testing you at the mo to see how far she can go!

Christine x

Berry said...

Oh it's like a crying fest in our house Sarah don't fret! Caleb doesn't so much cry all the time but he strops over EVERYTHING seriously!
He gets a mood on even if we don't say no, normally because we dont say yes the millisecond he wants something!
As I'm sure I told you Caleb had a mid sleeper but then we had to chop the legs off and make it closer to the floor as we think it was causing him issues with sleeping as he was a bit scared.
When we did the bedrooms up year before last with the loft conversion my girls wanted bunks (heaven knows why!) especially Hiolette who has a huge room and doesn't need it! But I managed to persuade her into having a basic wooden single with a pull out bed underneath for friends sleepovers and then got a pretty mosquito net thing to put over the top so it was all pretty and girlie. How about a four poster? maybe it's not what you want but Amelia has one of those, it wasn't expensive, is very girlie and sits in the middle of her room, very fit for a princess!
When it comes down to it really it's your decision and tho she needs to be happy in it she also needs to respect your decision, giving into her will just tell her that if she cries up a stink each time she will get her own way!
I do hope you can get it all sorted soon
Hugs Rebekah xxx